A Glimmer In The Shadows
by crazyplotqueen
Summary: Tonks discovers her desires for success while searching for her patronus. Under the light of the moon, by the whisper of the waves, her origin story begins. •RoR Oneshot•


**A Glimmer in the Shadows**

 **.x.X.x.**

 _~CrazyPlotQueen~_

The ticking of the clock on the wall seemed to beat in time with Nymphadora Tonks' heart, establishing a rhythm that echoed through her mind and the hall. A drop of sweat rolled lazily down her creased forehead as she focused on the tip of her wand. Hand clenched around it, she hoped that by some miracle, the spell she'd been practicing all day would suddenly work and all her practice would be worth it.

That miracle never came.

"I can't do it!" Tonks groaned frustratedly, letting her stance and arm drop, then running a hand through her messy purple hair to relieve some stress. It was a nervous habit she picked up over the years, one that was showing at this moment.

"It's beginning to look that way," A voice snorted from a seat near her.

Tonks looked over hopelessly to the source, letting out a scoff. "What a wonderful help you are, Moody," She muttered mordantly, trying not to allow her professor's words to dishearten her.

Alastor Moody arched a bushy brow at her as the girl trudged over to an empty desk, grabbing a plastic water bottle off it. She raised it to her lips, draining it of its contents, then let out another long sigh.

"You're never going to cast your patronus if you keep sighing and complaining," He shook his head condescendingly.

"I'm not complaining." Tonks protested, shooting him an exasperated look. "I've been trying all day. It's just… just not working." She plopped down on the edge of a desk, kicking the heel of her black combat boots against the dusty, mahogany floors. "I just...don't know what I'm missing."

"I'll tell you what you're missing," Moody snorted, watching her in disapproval. "This spell takes finesse and focus, none of which you currently have."

Tonks opened her mouth to protest once more, but was silenced by a sharp glare from him.

"You need to get your head out of the clouds, and focus. Sure, you may be one of the best witches in the school, but that doesn't guarantee you to cast a successful patronus spell," He leaned forward, his electric blue eyes burning into hers. "Focus does."

Tonks lingered in the silence for a moment, her eyes roaming over the striped designs of her cedar wand. So many memories were tied to the object, and undoubtedly, this memory would be too.

He was right, the girl conceded silently. This whole time she'd just assumed it would come naturally to her, like the magic and transformations. She'd been impatient, wanting the results she needed immediately. It was unrealistic.

Glancing at the face of the clock on the wall, Tonks felt her stomach sink when she learned the time. It was probably best if she made her way back to her room; she'd need a lot more rest for tomorrow.

"Can we try again tomorrow?" She blurted, her eyes darting back to him searchingly.

Her professor let out a heavy sigh of reluctance, and Tonks felt an obligation to prove her worth to him. _She_ knew her own worth, but at this moment, Moody was doubting it. She had to remove all doubts that she could do it.

That desire to prove her worth lit a flame deep inside her, sending it pulsing through her veins and reigniting her aspiration for success.

"Well, I don't see why not."

"Thank you," Tonks grinned vibrantly, her fire back and burning within her. She turned to leave the classroom, but let out a sharp gasp as the toe of her boot caught on the leg of a desk. Arms flailing, she managed to steady herself enough to regain her balance. Glancing back at Moody, she let out a nervous chuckle, "See you tomorrow!"

And then disappeared through the doorway, into the ancient halls of Hogwarts.

 **.x.X.x.**

Tonks was sprawled out on her bed, her sheets twisted around her body as she stared at her ceiling boredly. Sleep had been elusive for her so far, and she wasn't thrilled about it. After a day of failure and frustration, the last thing the teen wanted was to be left all alone with her thoughts. Though, it seemed that thinking all the way into the wee hours of the night was inevitable.

Letting out a grunt of frustration, Tonks arose from her bed jerkily, slipping her robe on and shoving her feet into a pair of fuzzy slippers. She wasn't sure what she was doing, but she knew she couldn't just lay there with her thoughts anymore.The student crept towards the door of her dorm, she moving painstakingly slowly as she hoped not to wake any of the others in her room. The last thing she needed was to be caught right now.

Tonks successfully made it to the creaky door, her heart pumping in anticipation and thrill as she slowly turned the knob and slipped through the crack.

After that, making it out was a piece of cake for her. She slipped through the castle, nothing but another shadow that flitted against the walls of the building, soundless and unnoticed by any soul that would be awake at this hour.

When Dora stepped outside, and the fresh night air hit her face, she let out a sigh of relief she didn't realize she'd been holding in. Out here, she felt unconfined and safe, despite not being protected by the castle's walls.

Tonks was unsure of what she should do now, as she hadn't anticipated this little trip to the courtyard. It was entirely on impulse, so she wasn't sure of what she wanted to do. But she knew what she desired. Peace of mind, and the feeling success when she casted her first Patronus Charm.

So, she wandered. Her feet glided soundlessly across the dewy and lush grass, her eyes adjusting to the soft darkness around her. She wandered through the trees, letting the occasional breeze and the scent of pine guide her to her destination.

Tonks didn't exactly know where she was heading, but she knew she needed the air. Being alone with her thoughts was often painful, but at this moment, she knew she wasn't alone. Dora had the moon. The teen glanced curiously at the world above, at the full moon illuminating the sky, and suddenly, the night didn't feel as lonely as it had in her room. It was her beacon in the darkness, her glimmer in the shadows, telling her everything would turn out just fine.

Hearing the crunch of gravel beneath her slippers, Tonks stopped and gazed around at where she landed. The soft whispers of the Great Lake's tides brought her back to reality, and her eyes roamed over the lake, the moon's luminescence appearing to make the water glow.

Feeling a sudden surge of confidence, the girl wrapped her hand around her thin wand, slowly drawing it out of her pocket. She carried her wand everywhere with her nowadays, it was like a security blanket for her.

She took her stance against the waves and closed her eyes, letting the rhythm of the tide beat in time with her heart as the clock once did.

 _"Expecto Patronum."_

The words tumbled carelessly from her lips, as easily as anything else would. Tonks held her breath, waiting for the magic to show itself, but still, it remained elusive to her.

The student let out an angry groan of frustration, her hand snatching a rock from the shore and hurling it into lustrous waves. The anger she was feeling began to subside as hopelessness set in. It was beginning to appear that Dora wasn't cut out for this spell. But after all, casting your patronus was no easy feat. It was one of the hardest spells a magic-user could cast, and now Tonks realized that what they said about it was true.

She didn't know what compelled her to give it another try. After all, she was frustrated and tired from her day, so why would she give it another try? Perhaps it was just her. Nymphadora Tonks hated giving up, she was stubborn to the end. Sure, maybe she gleaned a few life lessons from practicing this spell, but Tonks wasn't looking for life lessons. She was looking for success.

 _"Expecto Patronum!"_

The words didn't slip off her lips as easily as before. The words echoed across the shoreline with determination and raw need to get this right. Desire seeped through her words and into the spell, her resolve to accomplish what Moody and others thought she couldn't was unbreakable.

A slow sliver off magic began to drip off the tip of her wand, like raindrops, and hit the water. Euphoria broke across Tonks' face as she realized her accomplishment, and she watched as the waves became a luminescent silver, more vivid than before.

On top of the lake, a wispy jack rabbit swirled to life, it's fathomless eyes staring directly at her.

Eyes wide with curiosity, Tonks outstretched her hand to meet the jack rabbit taking a few steps into the water to meet him. The fact that her slippers were soaking wet didn't matter, the sweet taste success blinded uncomfort. She had done it.

Finally, her fingertips barely brushing the silvery rabbit, she breathed, "Hello, I'm Tonks. Wonderful to meet you."


End file.
